some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
