so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
