I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
soo... how was my night?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
