He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
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