Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
