Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
