my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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