Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
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