I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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