I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
