If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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