So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
We are two peas in an std pod
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
