and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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