Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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