FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
