this beer tastes like vomit already
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
