OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
