I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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