I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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