At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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