I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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