hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize