He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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