On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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