I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
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I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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