he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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