You were right. It hurts to walk today.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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