Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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