I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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