Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
