her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize