this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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