I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
