When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
