I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
