at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
