I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Randomize
