Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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