turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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