Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
