If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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