you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Randomize
