Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
