Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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