I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
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Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
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Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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