i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
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You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
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I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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