Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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