We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
