it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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