you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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