you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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