I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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