Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
