FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
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I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
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i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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