how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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