So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
