He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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