he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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