Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
