I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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