Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
