Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
