I hate all girls vehemently.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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