okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
