Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
